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Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Paraprosdokian

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  1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

  5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
  6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  7. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  8. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
  9. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  10. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  11. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  12. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  13. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  15. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  16. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
  17. I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
  18. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
  19. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
  20. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  21. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  22. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  23. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  24. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
  25. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  26. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
  27. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  28. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
  29. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
  30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
  31. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  32. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  33. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  34. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
  35. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  36. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
  37. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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Adam Eve by Domenichino Zampieri

Monday –This new creature with the long hair is a good deal in the way. It is always hanging around and following me about. I don’t like this; I am not used to company. I wish it would stay with the other animals. . . . Cloudy today, wind in the east; think we shall have rain. . . . We? Where did I get that word– the new creature uses it.

Tuesday –Been examining the great waterfall. It is the finest thing on the estate, I think. The new creature calls it Niagara Falls– why, I am sure I do not know. Says it Looks like Niagara Falls. That is not a reason, it is mere waywardness and imbecility. I get no chance to name anything myself. The new creature names everything that comes along, before I can get in a protest. And always that same pretext is offered–it Looks like the thing. There is a dodo, for instance. Says the moment one looks at it one sees at a glance that it “looks like a dodo.” It will have to keep that name, no doubt. It wearies me to fret about it, and it does no good, anyway. Dodo! It looks no more like a dodo than I do.

(more…)

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Exhausted

 

From AmO Images

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Arhat

My son has 501 Science Experiments Book. Once day, he wanted to make the dough experiment. I bought materials for him and it seems that he was very happy and eager.

After he finished the experiment, suddenly I think of polymer clay. I watched on Youtube they make many great things from polymer clay. I couldn’t find it in my country. So I just could  watch and crave.

And I took some dough and …Firstly, I decided make an infant. But the dough was very clammy and I couldn’t control it. So finally my product looked like that:

My son said it looked like an arhat.  How do you think?

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The kiss

So sweet!

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